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SIR-SPEAK-SALOT SINGALISH SLOG

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Daily Quotes

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money no enough!

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Gua uh ji pa ban, jit si lang tio khin san,
Bo khong bo lang jai, kong tio chin pai seh,
Chiak kak hia nih tua hanh. ko mm pat je puey kee,

Pah piah hua chuey ni, bo chia bo chu ko bo ai lin,
Kua lang chua bo ko chuey sing di, wu jii ko wu seng,

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh je puey kee,
Wa beh ew seh kai, ha wa ee sai dai yang,
Lit pun chiak su shi (Wa chia li chiak su shi)

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh buey chia buey chu,
sang ting ka hai bi, siang lang ka ho kih,
lai hor wa cho bo

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Nah sih li wu kiam eng jii, khui chui bien keh khi,

Bo khong bo lang jai, kong tio chin pai seh,
Chiak kak hia nih tua hanh. ko mm pat je puey kee,

Pah piah hua chuey ni, bo chia bo chu ko bo ai lin,
Kua lang chua bo ko chuey sing di, wu jii ko wu seng,

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh je puey kee,
Wa beh ew seh kai, ee tah li lim ko pi,
Loh pi chiak speh ge ti (Loh pi chiak speh ge ti)

Nah si gua wu ji pa ban, wa beh buey chia buey chu,
Buey tiam lai siu chor, eng eng bien cho kang,
Chua kow ki san por,

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Nah sih li wu kiam eng jii, khui chui bien keh khi,

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban,
Chap cheng puay cheng teh ki eng,
bien huan ma boh bun tuey (huan chien pu se wen ti)

Nah sih gua uh ji pa ban, ji pa ban…

Wei, peng yu eh, li siong ji pa ban, chin chuay ah?

If I have got one million, one million,
I got one million, my whole life no worries,
Never say nobody knows, say already very shy,
Eat until so big, never sat on a plane before,

Worked so hard for so many years, no car no house and also no lover,
See people get married and do business, got money and got success,

If I have got one million, I wanna sit on a plane,
I wanna explore the world, Hawaii to sun bath,
Japan eat sushi ( treat you eat sushi )

If I have got one million, I wanna buy car buy house,
eat all the delicacies of the world, who got the good luck,
be my girl

If I have got one million, one million,
If you need to borrow money, just open your mouth and ask and no need shy shy,

Never say nobody knows, say already very shy,
Eat until so big, never sat on a plane before,

Worked so hard for so many years, no car no house and also no lover,
See people get married and do business, got money and got success,

If I have got one million, I wanna sit on a plane,
I wanna explore the world, Italy drink coffee,
Road side eat spaghetti ( road side eat spaghetti )

If I have got one million, I wanna buy car buy house,
Buy shop to collect rent, easy easy no need to work,
Bring dog go for a walk,

If I have got one million, one million,
If you need to borrow money, just open your mouth and ask and no need shy shy,

If I have got one million, one million,
Ten thousand eight thousand take go and use,
No need to pay back also no problem ( pay back money not a problem )

If I have got one million, one million,
Wei friend, you think one million a lot ah?


Ooh, hearing that makes me wanna go learn more of the language now. My Hokkien skills are strictly limited to KNN CCB and all that unprintable stuff... Try maintaining a conversation with that. But I have realised that Hokkien is a real fun language to swear in, it's just so vulgar when it's uttered, it's sounds almost... poetic.

LIM PEI KA LI KONG

 It all started when our hyphen-happy protagonist, Sirfatalot, woke up in a haunted thicket. It was the second time it had happened. Feeling abundantly exasperated, Sirfatalot attacked a ripened avocado, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Giggling like schoolgirl, he realized that his beloved mat allamak was missing!  Immediately he called his favorite rape victim, Ivana humpalot. Sirfatalot had known Ivana humpalot for (plus or minus) 61 years, the majority of which were eccentric ones.  Ivana humpalot was unique. She was congenial though sometimes a little... annoying. Sirfatalot called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.
   Ivana humpalot picked up to a very unhappy Sirfatalot. Ivana humpalot calmly assured him that most South American hissing sloths grimace before mating, yet spotted wolf hamsters usually exotically grimace *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Sirfatalot.  Why was Ivana humpalot trying to distract Sirfatalot?  Because she had snuck out from Sirfatalot's with the mat allamak only three days prior.  It was a exotic little mat allamak... how could she resist?
   It didn't take long before Sirfatalot got back to the subject at hand: his mat allamak. Ivana humpalot yawned. Relunctantly, Ivana humpalot invited him over, assuring him they'd find the mat allamak. Sirfatalot grabbed his giraffe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Ivana humpalot realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the mat allamak and she had to do it deftly. She figured that if Sirfatalot took the tricycle, she had take at least seven minutes before Sirfatalot would get there.  But if he took the U gallop?  Then Ivana humpalot would be really screwed.
   Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Ivana humpalot was interrupted by six abrasive Labbits that were lured by her mat allamak. Ivana humpalot shuddered; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling displeased, she randomly reached for her wolverine and randomly punched every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief.  That's when she heard the U gallop rolling up.  It was Sirfatalot.
-.-
   As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Big Lots to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late.  With a deft leap, Sirfatalot was out of the U gallop and went wildly jaunting toward Ivana humpalot's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Ivana humpalot was panicking.  Not thinking, she tossed the mat allamak into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind her hammock. Ivana humpalot was angered but at least the mat allamak was concealed.  The doorbell rang.
   'Come in,' Ivana humpalot indiscriminately purred.  With a skillful push, Sirfatalot opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive beer-sloshed tool in a rice rocket,' he lied.  'It's fine,' Ivana humpalot assured him. Sirfatalot took a seat not remotely close to where Ivana humpalot had hidden the mat allamak. Ivana humpalot shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted.  But Sirfatalot was distracted. Happy as a frickin' monkey, Ivana humpalot noticed a clueless look on Sirfatalot's face. Sirfatalot slowly opened his mouth to speak.
   '...What's that smell?'
   Ivana humpalot felt a stabbing pain in her prostate when Sirfatalot asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the mat allamak right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A selfish look started to form on Sirfatalot's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's wolverines from when she used to have pet man-eating capybaras.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Sirfatalot nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Ivana humpalot could react, Sirfatalot aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it.  The mat allamak was plainly in view.
   Sirfatalot stared at Ivana humpalot for what what must've been eleven millseconds. As if it really mattered Ivana humpalot groped exotically in Sirfatalot's direction, clearly desperate. Sirfatalot grabbed the mat allamak and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Ivana humpalot let out a flamboyant chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Sirfatalot,' she rebuked. Ivana humpalot always had been a little stupid, so Sirfatalot knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Ivana humpalot did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at her or something. In a tragically predictable turn of events, he gripped his mat allamak tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
   Ivana humpalot looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Sirfatalot. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eight days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Sirfatalot. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. Ivana humpalot walked over to the window and looked down. Sirfatalot was gone.
-.-
   Just yonder, Sirfatalot was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind Ivana humpalot's place. Sirfatalot had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral Labbits suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the mat allamak.  One by one they latched on to Sirfatalot.  Already weakened from his injury, Sirfatalot yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Labbits running off with his mat allamak.
   But then God came down with His charismatic smile and restored Sirfatalot's mat allamak. Feeling puzzled, God smote the Labbits for their injustice.  Then He got in His tricked out go kart and jetted away with the fortitude of  1.2 billion spotted wolf hamsters running from a teensy pack of long-haired sea monkeys. Sirfatalot skipped with joy when he saw this. His mat allamak was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show,  PCK, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet bloody glove'). Sirfatalot was excited. And so, everyone except Ivana humpalot and a few bloody glove-toting Indonesian devil cats lived blissfully happy, forever after.

i dint write this about my self ar!!!

What Paul 'sirfatalot' Chan Means
You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.



You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings.
You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun.
Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them.



You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.





You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.





You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.



You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

sorry for the inconvience caused

Hi  there. I kinda goin act cool now. I know u guys (my avid readers) must be very damn angry at me for not updating this stupid blog. But here I am, trying to write my heart out, to what I consider to be a very boring and frustrating life. Well nothing much happen to me since the first of July, hmmmmmmmmm, actually a lot of things happen. Ohhh sorry ar, I forgot this blog is in singalish. Ninabu caocibai, so many many thing lar, but u think I can firkin remember meh, half the time I was dead drunk, I cant remember for shit man. but got highlight lar, impt things lar. I meet this gal, ohhlalla!!!! U all consperm excited oready ar. but nothing happen, so sad. K forget oready.

Spending time wit me friend, ridwan especially, that guy wan hella of a joker, muslim if u don’t know, cant smoke, cant drink only with effect to the later. Get high on sheeshaa and kunching. He will spend a whole night at my place, playing scrabble, chess and porn watching. Cb ahwan you better farking drink and dats the last thing ill do to you, actually second last thing, the first is cut off ur dick!!!

Then jalan raya first time, whaoooo damn exciting sia the collecting money part lar, and the other is getting fat.

Ohhyhaa and the night safari, damn frinkin nice man, its been a long long long time since I last been there, and whoaaaaa that’s all I can say, ohhh and the best part, our last outing with farker Freddie!!!! Whoosaaaaa.

That’s bout it lar other then the norm, clubs pubs drinking and pool and stuff that guys do lar. Ohhh and now we’re on strike never go harrys@harbourfront its sucks big time, POOL!!!! the farking Indian manager, don’t wanna say anymore damn sad sia always brings tear to my eye, just don’t farking go there!!! Safra still the best, other then gay uncle lar, ian still scared of him, he never went back, and I don’t think he will ever in the near future.

but i Afternoon just came from there with sub, almost beat that black ass, which needed a berak.

And then open bottle at gossip, thai gals (or guys) are hotttt man, yha that’s rite HOT MAN!!!! body damn nice hot pants and all dancing with pole, but the face farking cannot make it fuglyly, with a doubley ly. And the place is so screwed up, it’s a pub cum café, like wtf!? And as usual my good friend my mr SUBotage had to go home before 1am, so thanks ar, I mean really really thank you.

And as usual dan was drunk, but he claimed he wasent, never believe a drunk guy!

After that went to makan nasi lemak, bloody hell the sambal so hot, sweating like shit, just imagine sweat plus smoke plus the alcohol, very power combo!!! Sommore got ikan billis stuck in my gum all bleeding at least not so bad lar. The worst thing ar while I was happily sucking through a chicken wing, my jaws suddenly lock, kana stuck sia!! Goddamnit, whoa piang eh I force myself and bit down, what a stupid mistake, I could feel my jaw coming apart sia. Kns like got sound all u know, eeieiieieiiieeee, donno how to spell the sound lar, but farking pain. Somestupidbody put a voodoo curse on me rite!!! So now I stay low profile, sitting on my bed, daring not to move, writing my boring life for the past 3 months cramp into 1 pathetic post!!!

1st july

It’s the freakin 1st of july, and I know it I have a feeling it wont be a good month and year, u wanna know why because of the knnccb GST. Whoa this garment damn jialat sia. Every year increase abuse authority, this increase dat increase. Huh anyhow only, we work like farking dogs, earn peanuts, and now we pay for service tax tax tax, everything also tax. Even my kopitiam autie must increasae her kopi price, from 50cents to 80cents, aiiseh farkin jialat larrrrr. Kopi also must kiam. Die lar, how to survive liddat. Clubs drinks also confirm increase. Oh yha tokin bout clubs, just to make my month anymore interesting, now clubs cannot smoke! den do wat fark. Omfg. U don’t know how farkin pissed I am sia. Now go club ar, cannot smoke, den must kiam on drinks cause of gst, fark lar. aiyha but no worries I got solid proof plan, go friends place drink dfs liquor, den go st james free entry listen free music dance get high can oready lar.

haiyo I love Singapoor.

BREW & SCREW

How wonderful would it be to open your own shop, Pauls brew & screw,
hmmmmm a hardware shop which sells beer! and ill leave a section for flowers and cards, here an example. Yo wife! Im goin to the hardware store to get some screws, and when u get home 4 hrs later, half drunk and all wasted, you have flowers and cards for her,
the only thing is u forgot to buy a screwdriver and you have to go back again tml.

longs times no blog

I haven’t blogged in exactly 1 month 2 days and a few hours. Why? Because I totally forgotten bout this stupid singalish slog. Well nothing much happen in this month impt things, other den celebrating my 18th bday getting high and slapping ppl, other ppls bday not buy presents for them, because ive been gambling my money away losing in mahjong, losing in cards, wasting on beer, liquor and cigarettes.

But on the bright side the forever on going INTERGRATED PROJECT has been a thread of silver lining, also equivalent to silver being expensive and thread being fail!-whatever dat means. But for now the holidays are here, time to do whatever ive been doing for the past month, everything except the PROJECT.

sirfatalot theory about life


The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends ...
I mean, life is tough. It takes up alot of your time and what do you get at the end of it? Death. I mean, what's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you move to a old people's home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and then you go to work. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You have fun, party plenty, then get ready for senior school. Then you go to junior school, you become a kid, you play and you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating ... and you finish off as an orgasm.

rasa sayang eh

Im…….. back….. after my long absent. My avid readers u must be wondering what the fuck happened to me. Nothing much just got back from jb holidaying with friends 3 day of pure enjoyment dead night-life drink drank drunk of sleepless nights vomit shit stingray satay tulang , im still abit hung from yesterday tiger! All tiger fans except for 1 stupid carlsBURGER. Chivas fanatic definitely, and tulang ohhh sedap. What more can I say man, for a holiday there are the 6 Cs,  cheap, cigarettes, cunt, company and chivas! So basically that was my week, todays good Friday, why because tml will be a better wan. (inside joke) ,tml is my grandmamma bday.

One more week before schools start,
go back to tiger, whoa i thinking also very tiring sia.

only ten men know the secret

WOW! Tiger live man, the tiger is farkin alive man. Workin there is so much fun I have to say the people the place everything lar. Damn slack also, after 2 week I became sun zi the art of -keng- after

set up zone 6 for 1 hrs, smoke break every 5 min, own time NO target ar.

Got free entry to power house also, steel the chop wait in the toilet and smuggle our way in, not bad right. Chio girls on Wednesday and friday, sexy gay hunks on Sunday, wat more do u wan man.

st james is the palce to be for all those who hasent been there tigerLIVE

 the ultimate tiger experience awaits,

vart time is it? Its tiger time!

life-less

I was so bored I found myself at jb, the enviroment there just less stress lar. We go sama place lar, jalan around city square. But go makan this secret recipes, whoa the food horrible sia,  and the bill was 80 ar, ringgit lar…. but still expensive! Eat prata also cannot. Den go jalan jalan. Pok oready. So only can buy a cap and belt. Have to dig out all the coins just to buy smoke. macam beggars sia.
 Indian joker lar, must rush home to keep passport.
Aiyha holidays, donno be happy or sad, wan find work, but don’t feel lik workin. wan go out, but donno where to go, Wan watch tv, but eyes pain, wan play game, but eyes still pain, wan go rugby, but body aching, wan go sleep, but just wake up, wan to shit also cannot shit. I think im brain dead u know. Hmmmmmm……..     

year 1-enough oready year 2-damnit

Whoa portfolio review sounds scary rite. But rubbish, clear our rubbish only lar. Nothing interesting, other then the fact we have to guess whos retaining, arga arga know lar those brady bunch of people. the rest of us happily go year 2, where the vicious cycle continues, the days of drafting and tree making, argh shit. Lucky now holidays, oh yha, wen for an interview today at tiger live, whoa got one auntie 40 plus said this you know ‘ I got a lot of experience wan, I work as mama-san before’ aiyo we all open our mouth big big donno what to say sia. We tried to explain to her that host here doesnt mean ktv GROs! Orhh okay then do what wan?  auntie u wont get the job lar ( I said to myself). She looks like one of those typical middle-aged aunties lost in time, not wanting to wake up to reality, to the fact that they are old, so they put on layers of paint on their face, trying to conceal their wrinkles, put ntuc fairprice plastic bag over ur head also can lar. Coming back to the beautiful place tiger live, fantastic décor sia. But its not a pub nether issit a bar,  it’s a museum where they sell beer. Strange enough they don’t open at night, and worst still they allow children to enter. Whoooohoooooo hopefully I get the job…… pls pls pls

green expiration

Finish all the presentations oready sia. Liddat 1 year gone. Whoa green inspiration or green expiration, finally expired. Many ppl kana sick, flu, cough, finger ache, muscle spasm, menstrual cramps and even liao sai! Because of this stupid project, make us all expire, submission and presentation was also killer sia. Minus mark here and there and everywhere. I little bit come late 25% gone. Jerorize just liddat u know. Suddenly gone, damn chik ak . Sad lar. But watudo. This is life. Sad life. But lucky lar got ppl worst then me, a lot more. Forazumper…………… Eh, not say I wan to say but I say lar. This ppl ar,  hand up kucing kurap wan to pass. haiyha donno what to say also lar. Only can pray to all the gods that they don’t retain. But not my problem also lar. So lets tok bout my problem. We still got plt and ensp exam next week. And sakali this stupid habbi-alibaba want us to redo the stupid orthographic drawings, say lar we got no stupid annotations, stupid directions, eh u……. ‘
stupid bitch we do until liao pee hui now u wan us to re-do u kiam pah issit.
Si bei kang kor ok.. Carnot stand sia. Wan to have holiday also buay sai.
Cheebiliesd! Must go study oready.

 

happy new year

Whoa new year oready issit, damn fast hor.1 year liddat my life gone liao. Whoa but this year very fun mah. We all counted down at sonny’s house. Piang eh, dirty his until lik siao ar, the maid confirm headach wan. so by then late oready mah bout 2 plus all wan to go home. Budden no bus, so somebody say mrt extend until 3 liddat. So we all walked to mrt station, but the stupid thing is we lost our way. So instead of walking to serangoon mrt which was lik cb 3 bus stops away, we walked all the way to aljunied mrt which was lik freakin 20 over bus stops away.so nvm lor.
Reach aljunied oready what 3,4 plus. And got no farking mrt. Whoa lao eh.
Den got so many ampu neinei. All dark dark wan,
so hard to see. Cb damn scary lar.
What a way to start the year 2007!

arrr-rain-derh

The whole chalet very steady pom pi pi wan aranda all macam country club all den got executive suite all, high en sial. Everything plan nice nice, SAKALI rain!! The farking cb rain come back haunting me, sommoer rain until damn jialat ok. Nowsadays I hear rain only I damn geram, man. First day wan go swimming carnot, second day go escape, carnot play. Whoa I down dere tor hwee ar. Until we all si bea sian. Stay in the very big living room play charades lor and drink until we become red lik eat chili padi liddat, all like kena sun tan but the stupid thing is there was no firkin sun, the whole day rain what. But I tell u ar the rain ar damn spoiler lar, maintain balan. Everyday kena rain, confirm huat sio wan. Watudo.I also consipitated, chiak pah boh sai pang.

Now I come home blur lik sotong, see toilet, piakkkkkk piak piak.

Damn siong oreaddy, sleep!

 
 

tak-boleh taham negera

Watttttar paing eh. Taman negera was best sia. Doncha play play ar, best in malayasia, asia some might say the whole world. Words confirm cannot describe the fun, enjoyment, excitement, pity, sadness, drama, fear, anger, lust, money…. but cb no sex, if not can win oscar oready. Damn sia, 4 days of my life I will never forget. Life-changing experience for everyone u know. Knnccb even me god has been playin with me all this while sia. Whoa lao. We were stuck up  in gamas pahang station lor, only suppose short break, then the captian over the speaker say something in malay, then all malays facial reactions suddenly change, I then confirm know something surly wrong rite, can come out this shit that shit so many shit, but this shit must come out. We kana stuck at the station until further notice. Haiyha it dosent end there, then with the bright shiny sky, came this horrijible, tartible, vegetable, the dark clouds, grim as the grim reaper might sound this was grimer. It rain lor. Not just rain rain liddat, ITS WAS CB  !@#$%^&^%$#@#$%  BIG BLADDER BURSTING@#$%^^%$#@#$%^  FARKING WATER ALL COMING DOWN. Tio stun. The rain lor, the train tracks lor, landslide lor, u put all this together ar one big farking major disaster. My wedenesday! So slowly slowly liddat the water level started to rise lor. Slowly slowly all the low lying villages kana evacuated, then later the town evacuated, only left we bloody idiots trying to sit the rain out. We thought of so manmanay plans but it all leaded to 1 thing death! We go left take the buses down the slopes of the mountains, landslide = death, we go right follow the army up the mountains, leaches = (for the girls) death, we go up helicopter, expensive = death (somehow), we stay in the trains cabin play poker, rain water rise = death. $#%$#$%^&*^$#@!@#$% den do waat sia, U tell me, now oready 10hrs in the train the water all the way until the wheels cover the tracks oready, panic panicked  do what do what. do pray lor. I told god lf the rain stops, ill stop smoking. So now if u smart ar, can catch my balls, guess what happen? In ½ hr the rain died down and stopped! Rotflolomfg!! Ahaaahaaaahahahahaaaaa finally the roads cleared up the buses came fetched us to JB, and I safe on my comfortable
bed writing this award winning slog.
 

 

 

Ill continue the rest tml I too tired liao.

horrjiber singlish

eh eh, still here ar. Carnot wait for me to type in singalish corright! Whoa piang eh, not say u say easy ok. For me engrish educated wan, very kang kor sia. Must check dictionary all. Den all u ah tong ah seng dun keapo all cum kao pe kao bu with me, say my engrish like kiam chye, u all confirm kana upside down form me wan,
warning first ar.
Some people ask me why want to write singlish, not scard gahmen. Why, because the sky so high, the bird shit in ur eye! Now holiday mah dats why I so free cum entertain u all, write all this kong si mi engrish. If u all buay understand can con-sult me.
If I cannot help u den sorry abourit.
Dis ar only just a glimpse sneak preview of wat ya going to get form this site,
good or bad, is up to u,
ur choice is damn bung kah tio lum par.

SINGALISH

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN IMPROVED AND REVISED TO SUIT THE

LANGUAGE DISABLED, GRAMATICALLY HELPLESS AND THE

MENTALLY RETARDED PEOPLE WHO ARE MY FRIENDS.

THIS BLOG WILL BE IN SINGLISH! A WELL KNOWN LANGUAGE IN, WHERE ELSE SINGAPORE, UNIQUELY SINGAPOREAN, A MULTI-MIXTURE LANGUAGE BASED ON MAINLY ENGLISH, CHINESE, MALAY, HOKKIEN, TEOCHEW, CANTONESE AND WHAT NOT. LET THIS INFAMOUS LANGUAGE SPREAD THROUGH-OUT THE WORLD.

LET IT BE KNOWN,  LET IT BE FEARED

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY LET IT BE LAUGHED AT.

 

 

THIS BLOG IS NOW DEDICATED TO ALL THE SINGAPOREANS OUT THERE THOSE WHO ARE FAILURES IN ENGLISH OR ARE JUST PLAIN STUPID LA!

I WANT TO TAKE LEAVE

 Imagine when you apply for leave from your boss, he answers you like this
"You want to apply for one day leave?
Anything else you want from the company?"
In a year, you work 365 days.
1 year got 52 weeks, every week you rest for 2 days, then left 261 days working.
Everyday you have 16 hours of not working, so minus 170 days, left 91days of work.
Everyday you spent 30 minutes drinking coffee, sum up is about 23 days, so you left 68 days working.
Everyday you spend 1 hour for lunch, then minus 46 days again, left 22 days.
Usually you apply 2 days sick leave every year, so you still left 20 days working.
Every year have 5 days holidays for festival or whatever, then you just work for 15 days.
Again, company every year give you 14 days leave.
THEN ! You ONLY WORK FOR 1 DAY!!!
Damn!! You still want to apply 1 day leave???

STUDIO 531

IM  BACK…… NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER MY LONG ABSCENS. WELL WHAT HAPPEN TO ME, SOME OF YOU THINK IM DEAD, THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR. WELL IM NOT, TODAY ILL BE WRITHING BOUT OUR DLA STUDIO. A PLACE FOR OUR EDUCATION, OUR LEARING, OUR PROJECTS  AND OUR FUTURE, BUT WHAT THE HECK, SONNY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! OUR STUDIO IS TURNING INTO A LAN SHOP, WHO GIVES A DAMN BOUT THE PRIMER 4. WE DON’T. OUR FUTURE. NOT US. WE ARE LEARNING MORE IMPORTANT STUFF, TEAMWORK, COMMUNICATION, ESPRIT DE CORPS TRAINING OURSELVES TO FIGHT AND DEFEND OUR COUNTRY! WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT.  WE THE DLAERS CORDIALLY WELCOME YOU TO OUR DLA STUDIO T531. COME AND EXPRESS YOR PASSION FOR GAMING. THROUGH INFORMATIVE AND ENTERTAINING ACTIVIES, WE BOND TOGETHER IN SYNERGY AND TEAM SPIRIT, COME IMPROVE INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND MAKE NEW FRIENDS IN OUR AFFABLE ATMOSPHERE, THANKS TO THE DEDICATED EFFORTS OF THE LECTURES, STUDENTS AND UNCLE LIM, WE STRIVE TO PROVIDE A NURTURING ENVIROMENT, TO DEVELOP THE STUDENTS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES CREATIVITY AND PRIORITIES.

 

fat

職業
居住地
興趣
ME… I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.
IF U ARE FROM RMPS, QSS OR IN SP. IF YOU ARE MY FRIEND OR KNOW ME IN ANYWAY. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ACCESS THIS WEBSITE, OR CLICK ANYWHERE ON THE SCREEN.
SERIOUSLY DON’T GO ANYWHERE BEYOND THIS POINT. CAREFULLY AND QUITELY CLOSE THIS WINDOWS. AND SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER, AND TRY TO FORGET EVERYTHING YOU SAW.
IF YOU HAPPEN TO GLIMPSE EVEN A PART OF MY BLOG OR PHOTOS. PROCEED TO THE NEAREST BAR WATCH A FOOTBALL MATCH AND HAVE A FEW COLD ONES(ITS ON ME).
REMEMBER THIS SITE NEVER EXISTED AND NO ONE ELSE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THIS. ORELSE I’LL HAVE TO FLASH U WITH ONE OF THOSE MIB THINGY.


FOR MORE INFORMATION ADD ME AT;
fat_bastard01@hotmail.com
IM SINGLE AND VERY AVIALABLE